Anything... At any price.. All of this... For you.

So… Things are starting to look up again. I’m moving on. Like, for real this time. I still hold out hope but it doesn’t really matter anymore. The saddest part of it all is that he has changed into a completely different person, and thats scary to think how people can do that. I miss who he was, and who he is now is not the person I fell in love with. Unless he for some reason was infected with a parasitic personality sucking worm, that dies shortly within the next week and he turns back into his old self… I think it’s over with. I’ve already started moving on and even though I don’t feel the same for others as I did for him, at least I am having fun. I want something to fill that void but nothing will ever compare, so I might as well stop looking. I just got to keep on, keepin’ on. 

Smell ya later….

This is for the broken hearted. I know how you feel. Empty, betrayed, and no happiness whatsoever. You don’t want to laugh, because you know it’s not going to help, but you don’t want to cry, because it will just make you feel worse. You feel like your heart is falling apart, but not only that,…

Here’s to all those girls who used to be his number one. The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check your cellphone the next morning and be disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, and moved on with your life, only to have him walk…

I don’t know what to do anymore…. I’m so depressed. I can’t help but be mad but I’m really just falling apart inside. I just want to cry my eyes out but that just takes too much energy anymore. I don’t understand what went wrong. I feel totally lost. I’d give anything… to have what I had back. I can’t believe this is happening to me. Everyday is just as painful as the last. Everyone says, “it’ll get better…” but that’s not true. The only thing that gets better is me being able to fake being o.k. They say, “you deserve so much better.” But I don’t want ‘better’. I want the person I am so totally and completely in love with and have been for the past six years. 

I try to find comfort in other people. I try to make myself move on. I just hate everyone so much more because they aren’t HIM. 

I try so hard to understand. I can’t understand. What went wrong? Am I that naive? 

He’s so far away. His mind is numb to me and his heart is cold.  I feel as if he died. All I want is my best friend back. I am hurting so bad, and all I want is him to comfort me and hold me to make me feel better; but he is the one causing me so much pain. 

He feels like home to me… And now I’m completely lost. 

Seriously.